Horphins

So yesterday a new animal was discovered and it’s called the Horphin. Now, if you don’t like random chatter then don’t continue to read this because honestly it’s retarded. Haha.

Let’s start from the beginning. I was at a bar. Haha and I was chatting with these cool ass guys and I forgot how but someone was talking about horses. I hate horses. They scare me. I always tell people they are like large mutated penises on steroids. I know this is crazy but this is how Vanessa’s mind works. I just seriously can’t look at horses. It’s possible I may be traumatized seeing a video of a horse raming a young women and maybe this is why I don’t like horses. So anyways, we are talking about this and looking around us at these young college kids getting drunk off their asses. Like seriously, it was a fackin zoo of drunk animal babies.

Our conversation went from penis horses to riding dolphins… I don’t know I think one of them said they wanted to ride a dolphin and I strongly recommended to NOT ride one because the dolphin will take them to a cave and rape them. Anyways, I went on this whole rant how Dolphins are scary fuckers and they will take over the world one day.

So back to looking at all these drunk babies there was this one semi beefy guy who looked like a horse and he was drunk off his ass, couldn’t walk straight, missed his mouth when trying to take a shot. Total mess. He passed out on the floor for like 2 minutes. Then got up, walked my way and stood behind me and he was too close! Had to walk away and tell my friend he was gonna rape me like a dolphin and boom! My friend called him a Horphin whaaaaat?! Yaass. If we had a video camera we would have filmed all the horphins there. Crickey mate! Shit was insane!!!!! New species on the prawl and no evidence. Next week though… I’ll show you.

This is probably one of the dumbest blogs I ever wrote…. hahahaha

V. xoxo

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